I dread this certain time of year for reasons not first clear
The postman leaves those merry cards to spread the Christmas cheer
Why not just send a simple card, I think that would be better
Than the drippy words and boastful prose they call “The Christmas Letter”
You see each year some folks just need to tell us where they’ve been
That “God has blessed them” to the point they just can’t hold it in!
It must be told the pleasures that they want us all to know
and it passes clearance since it’s wrapped beneath a Christmas bow
You know the ones I write of, for each year they are the same
“Our family is the greatest” and our joys just can’t be tamed
The hubby got a raise this year, he’s doing oh so well
and the wifey’s work down at the church is so much more than swell
Our daughter is so special and she married into wealth
Our son just got his PHD and stays in perfect health
The grandkids are the cutest thing that you have ever seen
We moved into a mansion and our credit score is clean
Well excuse me just one moment as I try to gain my grip
I’m getting a bit misty from the cards that seem to drip
I think that I will try this thing they call the Christmas Letter
It must be just the thing this year to make you all feel better
Where to start I ask myself I guess That I’ll just state the facts
It might not be exciting but at least they’ll be exact
I’m sure those letters never lie and always stay in line
So I’ll just stick to what is true and then it will be mine
I lost my big time job this year and now don’t have a dime
Lost the rest of my gray hair and I mumble most the time
The house is in foreclosure but our prospects they are good
since the shelter down the road opened shop within our hood
The wife she gained some weight this year, a hundred pounds or so
and who really cares that she lost some teeth. Her smile is still aglow
She stopped her work down at the school, not sure what happened there
The county sent some notice but we didn’t really care
Not sure about the daughter, she’s been gone for quite awhile
Haven’t heard a word from her since birthing her third child
I’m sure that man will marry her and smother her with charm
As they manage all that livestock in that desert camel farm
The son, well he dropped out of school to find his future dreams
lost a leg in mortal combat but still loves his Nascar teams
The dog she ate our cat last month and lost most of her spark
We put her down since neighbors don’t like dog bites in the dark
Our grandkids, well we love them but I have to make this claim
they are a little ugly but we love them all the same
The small one stumbled down a hill and splashed into a drain
The oldest hopes to pass 1st grade and show off all her brains
I guess that’s it for my first shot at writing for this season
Christmas comes but once a year and now we know the reason
It couldn’t be about God’s son who came to bring true joy
It has to be about our lives, the pride, the lights, the toys
I’m not too good at things like this but I have to wonder here
If the angels who once sang His praise might just be shedding tears
Maybe we have lost the sight of what makes this world better
I might be wrong since after all this is just my Christmas letter