There are few people who are fortunate to go through life without some level of pain and suffering. Oh I guess there are a few that seem to glide through life unscathed, but almost everyone, if they are honest go through storms in life that range from physical problems, mental frailties, emotional scars all the way to personal disaster including devastation of various kinds and even the death of friends and family. Whatever the tribulation might be that one encounters often leaves the victim with questions about why these things occur and how they are caused in the first place. Books and materials abound that try to make sense of why calamity imposes its will on people, particularly people of good reputation. Dozens of authors and hundreds of speakers have tackled the subject of why bad things happen to good people; or even why bad things happen at all.
Deeper thinkers tend to philosophize the subject and such adverse events continually raise questions about pain and suffering in an effort to reason out in their own minds why these things happen. Questions such as:
- Does God cause these things to happen or just allow them to happen?
- Do these things happen as some form of cosmic punishment for things done wrong?
- Are pain and calamity random byproducts of the physical activity of a spinning globe and passing time?
- Is there a devil, or Satan who causes these problems to occur?
For every question there are dozens of answers and some make far less sense than others. Even more common than these philosophical questions is the response of many to be angry and resentful toward God for allowing something bad to happen to them. In fact, most (not all) of the people I have met who don’t believe in a God are people who have suffered some type of agony at an earlier time in their life. Their reasoning for not believing in God is generally along the lines of “even if there is a God, I wouldn’t want to believe in a God that would let this happen to me”.
Over the past few years our family has seen and felt our share of pain to the point where I have been asked by others many times the question “why do you think this has happened?” or “what is God teaching you through this?”. Like Job of the Old Testament, we all have “friends” who are quick to ask questions that create more pain than comfort. Despite how well the questions might be delivered, the deafening message lands on the ears of those in pain in a clear and unmodified question….”what did you do wrong for this to happen?”, or “if there was a God would he allow this to happen?”.
I do believe that there are consequences to our actions in life, and I also believe that God has asked for righteous living rather than corruption, yet I see a pervasive belief among religious people that in my over simplified version goes like this: If something good happens to you, you must be doing something right and if something bad happens to you then you must be doing something wrong. This is a topic that I will write about another time as I believe this belief is smothered in poor theology and decorated with mysticism and personal ego.
For now though, I want to share some thoughts that have given me great hope and comfort in our struggles with pain and suffering. While my thoughts, I am sure will be riddled with critique which I understand and am fine with……these are just my thoughts. I am not presenting them as a new revelatory teaching of scripture or some special “message from God”. They are just my own thoughts that I hope will bring comfort to those who might be hurting, having done nothing to deserve the pain they are enduring.
Have you ever been to a reunion of people who survived the same disaster? For instance, there are often fund raising events for diseases like cancer where many cancer survivors will attend in support. Or maybe you have seen on television, or in person a reunion of soldiers from a particular past war, or maybe a gathering of survivors from a natural disaster such as a tornado, a hurricane or a tsunami. Any time you bring a number of people together who have suffered through a common foe there is an instant and incredibly strong bond that forms between those people that happens without effort or encouragement. It is a special relationship that forms for no other reason than a common element of their pain. This bond almost always transcends age, race, religion or nationality. It is unique and it is a special relationship that many have experienced yet few can fully explain.
In our own experiences I can’t remember the number of times that we have met a family that is experiencing the same illness that my son has struggled with. Often after only a few brief moments there are hugs, tears and a feeling that we have been friends for years. The connection is undeniable. So let’s turn our thoughts for a minute to the life of Jesus. Is there anything that we could endure that he couldn’t relate to during his life? He suffered the shame of being different than others, he was viewed by many as an illegitimate child, he felt the racial struggle of being a Jew in a Roman controlled society, he understood hunger, he felt isolation from his family and friends, he endured storms and natural calamity, he suffered the loss of a close friend (John the Baptist), he wasn’t very good looking, he suffered the feeling of abandonment, he experienced physical abuse and even knew ahead of time that he was going to die a horrible death. Mental anguish, emotional stress, fear, pain and even death….Jesus can relate to them all.
Then in Philippians 3:10 we see a glimpse of the heart of the Apostle Paul as he said “…..that I may have the fellowship of His sufferings (referring to Jesus)……….”. The fellowship of His sufferings; is there a greater bond that we could have with Christ than the fellowship of his sufferings….or His fellowship with ours?
So as one who believes in Heaven and an eternity with God and the Savior, I just can’t help but wonder if those who have suffered greatly here on earth will have a special bond with Jesus. Will our reunion in eternity be sweetened by the similar scars that our lives will bear? Just maybe the Son will have a special love and affection for those relating to the pain and shame of earthly sufferings.
I know it might be a doctrinal stretch and I know that all in Heaven will behold the full glory of God, but sometimes when I am at my lowest and I try to figure out my own pain…I think about His….and I am encouraged by the thought that one day He and I will share the fellowship of our sufferings.